Thoughts Vs Feelings

Studying the difference between feelings and thoughts can help you connect better and others understand you more. For those people in recovery, it is crucial to differentiate the two. Most people think that if they use the word feel in the sentence, they are speaking about their emotions. For instance:

I feel like no one loves me.

I feel as though I am all alone in this thing called recovery.

I feel as if I am going mad.

In reality, whatever follows these phrases - feel like, feel as if, and feel as though, is in fact a thought, assumption, or viewpoint. What are missing in the above illustrations are the feelings.

I think no one likes me, and I feel disapproved of and unloved.

I think I'm alone in sobriety and I feel scared and overwhelmed.

I think I am going crazy and I feel scared and uncertain.

You will know that you are talking about your emotions if you process them from the five general categories of feelings - mad, sad, glad, bad, and scared. "Bad" will usually be emotions like guilt, be jealous of, envy, etc.

Recovery is learning how to think differently and learning, in many cases, how to articulate your mood and emotions, especially those that have prompted your use in the past. Learn to process your thoughts and feelings as the separate and distinct aspects that they are. This will make it easier to determine if your thoughts need modifying or your feelings are the issue.

Your feelings are affected by others, but not managed by others. People often talk about something "making" them feel a specific way. This removes your liability for your feelings and puts the blame or accountability for how you feel onto others. When you put this responsibility onto others, you hold them accountable for what you are feeling.

You can then give yourself an excuse for why you feel a certain way, and lose all control over how you feel because others made you feel anything. This can become a victim posture or a tricky cycle that needs to be broken for you to acknowledge that they are your emotions, independent of the actions of others.

This does not indicate that you do not react to the activities of others. It is simply a way of acknowledging that when somebody did or did not do something that you had feelings about their activity or lack of action, but you are claiming the feelings as your own.

A less blaming way of stating how you feel in relation to what someone else has done or not done, is to state it as, "When you did that, I felt." It lets you state what they did, but how you felt, and taking liability for your own feelings is empowering. You can choose how to feel in any given situation and not be based mostly on how they made you feel.

It will take exercise to start phrasing your speech differently and you will find that you continue to use thinking statements instead of feeling statements for a while. Make the effort to distinguish them, and even correct yourself when you forget.

Ultimately, you will remember to include your feelings in your statements. An easy way to start phrasing thoughts and feelings is, "When __ occurred, I felt _____, or "I thought ____ when ___ happened." Stating both the thought and the feeling helps you distinguish them and lets people know which you are talking about in any situation.

Various forms of love

There are four forms of love, each of which holds an exclusive kind of power that binds man and God in a way that only the heart can comprehend.

Love - a single word that holds a lot of significance and power. And while it brings joy and appreciation to anyone who hears it, this can also cause confusion. When you say "I love my mother," "I love my cat" or "I love my function," it does not necessarily mean that you are feeling the same or equal amount of love for these three different things that you "love". Given that love is more of a choice and action than a just a sense, your actions of love may also be according to different degrees. So, what are the types of love and how do they differ from each other?

Agape

First on the list of the types of love is agape. Agape is actually what Modern Greek refers to as "unconditional love", or a love that IS love, like in the phrase s'agapo, meaning, "I love you". During the historical Greek, the word actually referred to "true love's" inner sense, instead of the simple attraction. This is even used for describing the contented feeling or putting someone in a very high respect. Agape is used for expressing the unconditional love given by God to all His creations.

Eros

The passionate love that is mixed with longing and sensual desire, Eros is something taken from "erotas" or "intimate love." But it does not actually mean that Eros is a love that is sexual by characteristics. You can interpret this as the love you have for someone who is more than a friend to you. Out of the types of love, this one is best fit for wedding and dating relationships.

Philia

Modern Greek defines philia as lovable love or friendship. Among the different types of love, this one is dispassionate and virtuous love, the concept of which has been developed by none other than Aristotle. This includes the loyalty to family, friends, group and calls for equal rights, familiarity and virtue.

Storge

Storge, the last in the list of the types of love, pertains to affection in both modern and historical Greek. This is a kind of natural affection as what parents feel for their kids. Storage has rarely been used in the ancient works, almost solely to explain the connections in a family. Ancient texts used the term for denoting the feelings parents feel for their children or a husband and wife's feeling for one another. This is also being used for showing putting up or accepting situations, like "loving a tyrant."

Other Types of Love in This World

There are generally only four major types of love but there are still others feelings that ought to be recognized as well. And while these emotions are not love they are generally mistaken for love ahead of time. The first of which is crush. First crushes are really memorable, as this is when you experience some somersaults inside your stomach. Surely we all know that somewhat stupid grin on your face each time your crush passes by. What an awesome rush!

You also have the so-called excessive, or that kind of love that borders on being too needy. This kind of feeling is not considered as healthy because it can give you the tendency to operate your partner's life that may then lead to them making you altogether. More often than not, this kind of emotion is being knowledgeable by novice lovers or those who have "fallen in love" for the first time. Scared and insecure, obsessive lovers tend to go so crazy that their relationships usually end because of it.

Last and definitely the most painful kind of love is unrequited love, or loving even if you know that the other person can never love you back. Full of pains and heartaches, this love is unfortunately one sided and although you might be in a relationship, chances are you will never get the pleasure that you wish for because you know that the love you can give does not equivalent the love that you will receive by far.

The four major types of love and the other feelings mentioned are all essential and as the old saying goes, they make the world go round. Without these, there is no way for individuals to express how they feel about others and tell these people how much they mean to them. They will never be able to show what they want to show, and learn the things that they need to learn. Love teaches people a lot of things and without it, life might as well be regarded as incomplete.

The different types of love might officially differ in meaning but at the end of the day, what is essential is that we know how to love, not just ourselves but also others, particularly God who love us more than we deserve.

Relation, "an aspect or excellent(as resemblance or causality) that connects two or more things or parts as being or belonging or working together, as being of the same kind, or as being rationally connected."