The lack of communication between
husband and wife may be liable for the majority of divorces in the
world. This happens all through the marriage but it is especially damaging
during the first years. When you get two strangers, who aren’t even related
into the same space, hour after hour and day after day, problems have to
arise gradually. This is not the honeymoon any more,
it is real life, and obviously until death do us part. I believe thirty
years of marriage allows me to give you some tips and advice.
I remember our first years where a war zone and
many times the word divorce were mentioned in arguments and discussions. After
that things would cool down,
make-out sex, a nice dinner and everything went back to normal, until the next
time. The truth is that it takes patience o both sides to
develop a marriage relationship. Waking up with a
person by your side, sharing problems and everyday situations is not the same
as living separately and only showing and looking at the other person’s good
side. Marriage is a dedication for life; it is a partnership with
someone you love.
Learning to talk to the wife
takes a little time, some savvy and most of all patience. It is true
that you come home from work, tired and with problems on your mind and you do
not really want to hear about more problems. But she has her own problems; she
is also tired, whether she works or not, so takes a long breath and listens to
what she has to say. Don’t just sit there, really listen, ask questions,
comment on what she says, and let her know that you really care about
her worries and problems. If you just pretend to
listen she will ramble on for hours so pay attention. Before she begins, ask
her gently to please make the story short, my wife for example, always starts
with a release that may last for a long time.
If there is a decision to be made about what she
is saying, discuss it and take the decision, if you don’t she will
only come back later and start the story once again. If it is just
something that happens she wants to talk about, listen, opinion and make sure
to finish your comment with a phrase or phrase that will indicate to
her that the point is over. If it is something related to
your children, never tell her to take care of it, they are your children too
and it is your duty to help her raise them. Discuss what happened, agree on
what you both want to do about it and talk to your child. Avoid mentioning that
she complained about this or that, it will make her look like a rat to your kid
and child care is not a competition on who is softer or easier.
Money situations can be the toughest particularly
if you are the only one bringing in the bread. You have to understand and
accept the fact that prices always go up, never down, and that she has needs as
well as you do, I am sure that when you go out with your friends for a beer or
to watch a game you do not sit there considering if you can afford another
beer. Remember, the money you are making is not only yours, it belongs to the
family. When you got married you promised to support her that means all
the way, not as far as you want to go. Be patient and knowing, if you
are about to go up in smoke because of her request, keep quiet and think about
the money you spend whenever you want in anything you want. If the money she
needs is within reason but you do not have it, tell her this, and tell her when
you will have it so she can make her own plans. And by God, do not let
her ask again, when you have it, weep silently and hand it
over................... read more
at>>>>>>>>>>>How to Talk With Your
Wife
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